Oppressed by Social Norms

Many people blame the incredible number of divorces on some universal social faux-pas of some sort or another. The religious right ascribes the blame to a declining moral consciousness, neglect of absolute truth, the school taking the place of the family in moral instruction, and the high number of cohabitating couples. For the more traditional and pragmatic, the issue is reduced to foolish and impatient young adults acting impetuously. The more hardened and cynical would claim that people view relationships in too idealistic of a light, thus rendering the reality a pure disappointment and inevitable failure.

There are certainly a plethora of potential pitfalls for the contemporary relationship, but must the given social wisdom dictate how such relationships are to proceed? The plurality of opinions is itself a great argument against accepting such "social wisdom." Not only is social wisdom an eclectic set of diverse opinions masquerading as wisdom, but it is also ill-informed and destructive. Wisdom that speaks simply from the common grace elements of social science ignores the more substantial (and necessary) pool of revealed Truth. It can describe the effects of total depravity as "social disorders" and "disturbing trends," but not diagnose the true disorder: a broken, sinful world.

Nor can it prescribe any real solutions, as it neglects the true problem. Not only is the reality of sin neglected, but so is the pervasiveness of sin understood. Even well-intentioned advice that is not rooted in God's revealed Truth is a mixed-bag of common grace wisdom and sin-infected worldliness. While common wisdom might prove helpful, it can also be destructive. This type of wisdom might commend an order for relational growth (which may be helpful), or it might suggest that couples live together or "test the waters" with other individuals (which are both obviously horrible options).

All of these considerations should be an impetus for rethinking the contemporary bevy of various relational approaches. Sin should be acknowledged, its remedy in Christ sought out, with Spirit-wrought godliness as the grateful response. God's Word and prayer should guide relationships, as well as wisdom from mature, older Christians. Social wisdom should be supplemental and carefully scrutinized. Beyond all else, it is important to be more discerning when it comes to relationships--and it starts with a biblical worldview.