Daily News

So...for the second straight day at Fenway Park (home of the Red Sox), a hawk attacked a visiting tourist. This time, the victim was a young girl. She had to go to a hospital for a scratch on her head. When will we say enough is enough? As long as these hawks roam the land, free from any sane regulations, they will pose a threat to the well-being of average, ordinary Americans. If I was a politician, I would introduce legislation in which every hawk would be assigned a "safety tether" that would prevent them from accidentally implementing their destructive power. This will be for their own good and the safety of your children.
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President Bush and Russia's Tyrant-in-Chief, Vladimir Putin, will be meeting in the next several days to discuss a wide range of issues. Many believe that these meeting could be "contentious." Really? Vladimir Putin has interfered in the elections of neighboring nations in order to exert Russian influence, has eliminated an impressive number of independent journalists (even those residing in democratic Western countries), and has virtually destroyed independent businesses and media in his country. Meanwhile, President Bush has gotten approval from the NATO allies to install missile defense positions in several former Soviet republics in eastern Europe. Contentious? Perhaps we'll have a repeat of Rocky IV. Stay tuned...
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Another bout of tornadoes have beset poor Little Rock, Arkansas, which boasts the former political residence of Bill Clinton. Tornadoes in populated areas bring about unsurpassed tragedies, but tornadoes in the boonies where chasers can get kick-butt footage...awesome! In reality, with all due respect to victims of tornadoes, what guy would not want to see a good F-4 or F-5? In a society of incredible wealth and weenie challenges, a tornado is just what a guy needs to realize that typical man activities totally suck.